Character Training

Raising children takes much time, energy, patience and wisdom. In our years of parenting, we have noticed that investing in their character is utmost of importance and value. If we miss this vital part of their development then the child in whole is rather rocky, unstable, uncontent, unsatisfied and emotionally out of control to name a few! Every parent can attest to the fact that their innocent little babies soon turn into toddlers who have their own strong wills! (Gasp!) and all of a sudden their perfect little angel of a child shows their sin nature too and it can knock you off your seat so to speak and leave you feeling helpless, confused and upset.

I guess thats why there is the phrase "Terrible Twos"..haha...When we had little toddlers one wise woman once told me to never speak that phrase over my children and I never did. In fact, when people would say in almost expectancy "ohh boy, your child is 2 now...just wait for those terrible twos to peak" I would cringe and wish they hadnt said that right in front of our child. Instead, we choose to change our viewpoint about this age and realize that it is a GOOD thing that our child is showing they have free will and their own mindset. We do not want to stifle that in our child, rather "mold" their behaviour into self-controlled, flexible and adaptable children. As parents we have a huge responsiblity to train our children in the ways of the Lord, to rise up to have the fruits of the Spirit and to learn to get along and co-exist with others. This is particularly tricky when that self-will rises to the surface.

We use many at home examples and situations to help `train` our toddlers and children to first:obey their authority (either mom, dad, playgroup leader, their sunday school teachers or cubbie teachers etc), to put Jesus first, others next and themselves last. YEs, you read that right: we teach our children to think of themselves LAST. It is the J.O.Y acrynom. I was delighted to see the Duggars had this on their show one episode and thought it was great that we implemented this into our Home years ago and another Large family uses it effectively too!

We also teach the importance of first time obedience... for many reasons and the main one being for safety. This actually contradicts what the mainstream ideas are for raising children. Alot of parenting leaders teach the "1,2,3 method" in which you give your toddler or child up to 3 chances to listen and obey before the big consequence is given. This in our opinion is only setting up for bargaining and reluctance in the child to listen. When it comes to safety, just say a child was about to walk across a busy street and you said "No, wait!" and that child was used to the 3 chance routine of discipline so they didnt obey. Then they continue to walk off the sidewalk and into traffic and the parent is screaming "Stop, wait!" and the child thinks ohh, ill wait till they count to 3, so they proceed, and then they get hit by a car!! ...how unfortunate and tragic that would be!... all because the child didnt obey the FIRST time and was waiting for the 3 chances to listen and obey. This may seem like an extreme example, but it is valid. Valid enough for us to train our little ones to trust that Mommy and Daddy are constantly looking out for the best interest of their lives and are making decisions on their behalf to benefit them.

We use alot of Scripture too when we are training our little ones and rely heavily upon it for Character development. Teaching little ones about relationships with their family members is a good place to start too! Any parent with more than one child knows that there are PLENTY of oppurtunities for modelling behaviours and respect for others.

Each week our family recites and memorizes one memory verse or passage together and this is VITAL for unity in the home. We write out the passage or scripture verse, put it up on the dining room wall and we take the time to read it, talk about it, meditate on it and listen to each others interpretation of the verse. It can lead to some great spiritual discussions! By the end of the week, we have some of the children recite it out loud in front of the family and you should see the sense of pride and confidence they gain from it...as a side benefit.

We are also a family that PRAYS together. This helps with character training as it takes the focus off of ourselves and our problems with tattling, whining, blaming, complaining, uncontentment, unforgiveness and squabbling and puts the focus on our Lord. We are big believers in settling things before retiring for the night. ITs not good to be festering with anger, bitterness or bad feelings about someone else , but it is important to deal with that person lest unforgiveness and bitter roots should grow in our souls...

"BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, Ephesians 4:26 " This is a great verse to show that it is normal and natural to have human responses such as anger! it is what we do with that emotion that is important. We teach our children to have love, patience, goodness self-control and it is a challenge to practice these wholesome traits especially when you really do feel as if a sibling wronged you or hurt you. We also believe it is important to train our children how to treat others in society and give them plenty of social oppurtunities to do so. Exposing them to different settings, different people and children from various backgrounds helps to broaden their world view. I have noticed even at playgroup or church (where they are familiar and comfortable) they tend to stick to their "favorite" friends or peers.

This is where the fun part as a parent comes in because this is perfect training ground! It's great that our children have meaningful relationships with their peers but its not okay that in having those , there is possibility of excluding other children who may be new, not in their circle of friends, or even different. As a mother I have witnessed our children gravitate to the kids they're comfortable with and ONLY play with those same friends and do not include others. This is where we have stepped in, seperated them and put them beside someone they are not used to hanging out with. At first, there is resistance, but sooner or later, they are including these "new friends" in the games or songs alongside all the other children.

It is lovely to see and teaches our little ones to ACCEPT and welcome anybody and to have zero tolerance of "cliques" or exclusivity in their circles. We are also careful to teach them that "whispering" to others in public is very hurtful and makes others feel unimportant and its quite rude too! This is very important to train in our children, as it will benefit them for when they attend school, or extra curricular activities and gives them a sense of compassion for others.

Training Children in their characters is a big investment but we need to remember as parents, that the first 6 years of a childs life literally lays the foundation for the rest of their lives! We want well-rounded, loving, forgiving, accepting, God-honouring, unselfish and generous children who have had oppurtunities to refine these godly traits so that they become responsible, independent, and loving adults someday.

God gives us so many oppurtunities to do this and we are blessed to have little ones to train. One of our motto verses we as a husband and wife in our Home is as follows: "And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up" Deuteronomy 6:7 This verse pretty much sums up WHEN we should be training our little ones. I also love the word "DILIGENTLY" here...it brings conviction to me. the dictionary describes the word Diligent this way: Marked by persevering, painstaking effort

wow..what a challenge for us parents! The benefits of training our children's character is LIFELONG for them though...so it is WORTH it ALL! May God bless you as you find small ways to implement the scriptures into your days with small children and as God blesses you with oppurtunities to train their little hearts/characters into those of Godly Traits for the purpose of Serving Him and Others .

Wordless Wednesday

Our "butterfly"

My dearest Zionnah Hope: the house is quiet and I am downstairs relaxing and having quiet time. I keep watching the clock and the closer midnight comes, the closer the day comes that marks your first year out of my womb and into our arms.

Today we celebrated your birthday early with family and many friends who have journeyed with us in getting to know you, love you and pray for you, for you hold a special place in the hearts of many. As I reflect on my pregnancy with you and the scare of losing you at 10 weeks along my heart is filled with gratitude of the miracle of YOU! Your labor and delivery was somewhat different in that we were planning our usual Homebirth but due to medical reasons, needed to be at the hospital ( the new one at that! It was rather quiet,lovely and family oriented!) You were such a peaceful soul and a sweet spirit. We connected at a deep level and my mother instincts kicked in quickly as you were a tad different and something was not quite right. You taught me in a new fresh way to trust my mothering instincts and persist and plead on your behalf!

That was the start of a bumpy and emotional road as we learned of your diagnosis and we've attended MANY different doctors, pediatricians ER visits and cardiologists this past year alone.

Despite all this, you remain a sweet joyful little babe who rarely cries and who has a contagious smile that lights up any room.

You bring so much joy and love to our Family and we thank God everyday for your Life! You are a treasure and we enjoy watching you grow. It is to be expected that because of your medical condition you are smaller than most your age, and you are taking your time at each new developmental milestone. We know from experience to not "push it" and to be content with your pace of mastering. You make us so PRoud !! Each milestone is that much more exciting because it means you WORKED so hard at it, persisted, got frustrated, needed comfort and nurturing and went right back at it again! Never have I seen a room of people get so ecstatic over your first time rolling over!!! (With your Physiotherapists and Pediatrician) Your first time sitting up without falling was so huge! You delight in making us proud and you have a strong spirit despite any physical setbacks you challenge against.

You are sooo LOVED little one. Your siblings adore you and you adore them likewise. As parents observing it is so refreshing to watch your relationships grow and how each of your siblings have a special connection with you. The girls play with you like your a dolly and dress you up and put lots of bows and hats on you. The boys love to give you "apple tree" rides and play pat a cake. Even your toddler sister enjoys making you laugh and is constantly running to the fridge to find you a suitable snack.

Your Mommy and Daddy simply cherish every moment with you. Your special nose kisses are so genuine. The way you call us across the room till we come and pick you up is something i can never forget. You lift your little tiny arms up in the air and simply screech "MUM MUM MUM MUM" or "DaDada" and that is simply sweet. No matter what im doing you want me to be holding you. LEts just say I "Wear" you alot in the Moby wrap or the carrier, and with that you are content.

Today at your 1st Birthday celebration it was evident its not just our hearts you have captured, but there are many dear friends who just love you to peices Zionnah.

We chose `The Very Hungry Caterpillar` as the theme of your party. You LOVE that story. Mommy and Daddy have read it you over and over again daily. We also chose that theme as it represents you in some ways. Like the caterpillar who eats and eats and is still hungry, you are like that!This caterpillar eats so much , gets fat, builds a cacoon and turns into this gorgeous majestic Butterfy!

With all the complications and issues with your precious body, we are proclaiming that over your very life! The caterpillar isnt much in size at the beginning , but gains strength and waits in his cacoon and emerges as a transformed `Free `being!! You may be tiny sweet one, but once your little body is fixed you will be come out free and you will soar! You are our Butterfly in the Making!! We are so honoured God chose us to be your parents and we are so honoured to call you our child.

In the wee hours as I rock and nurse you in the night, my heart overflows and I sometimes weep at the thought of all the potential wrapped up in one precious little girl...YOU! Dear Zionnah Hope: God has BIG plans for you! You were destined for great things! You will overcome and be an overcomer for what you have had to go through in your young age. You have a sweet spirit that blesses many and you will continue to touch lives just by being alive! You have a zest for life and that is truly inspiring. Your smile beams and can soften any cold heart. You are a treasure. You were hand picked by God to be here! We promise to raise you with an attitude of HOPE and not despair! We will be diligent to continue to teach you to never give up. You have taught us so much in one year that has dramatically changed our perspective on life and as being a parent. Our Precious ZIonnah Hope...WE LOVE YOU!! Happy 1st BIrthday Sweet one!

A Quote to Ponder

"Our values determine our evaluations.
If we value comfort more than character, then trials will upset.
If we value the material & physical more than the spiritual,
we will not be able to count it all joy!
If we live only for the present & forget about the future,
the trials will make us bitter, not better."
~Warren W. Wiersbe

children say....

Sometimes I wish I could have recorded down in a notebook all the cute and funny things my children have said! sadly I haven't...they are merely memories rather than documented quotes.

Since preparing and celebrating Easter this year we have been discussing with the children about sin, and our need for a Saviour.

This morning, as we were eating breakfast our 4 year old Elijah sat there in silence barely touching his oatmeal and I could see the wheels turning so to speak, he was clearly thinking. After a few minutes, he suddenly asks me "Mom...is baby Zionnah SINFUL?" I choked on my oatmeal and tried to stifle my laugh. I mean he was so genuinely concerned and really wondering...at what point do you go into great details or give a simple answer to avoid confusion? I chose the latter and tried to be as serious as he was being and said yes...we were all born sinners with a free choice. HE was satisfied with that and proceeded to eat his breakfast.

This afternoon as I was in the kitchen getting potatoes peeled for our turkey dinner 2 year old Hannah sits beside me on stool and chats away. HAnnah is very talkative and enjoys being with me in the kitchen and we have many interesting talks this way. Today she says "Mommy...your the most pwechus mommy in the howe woold" I kissed and hugged her and then she looks at me and says "I wuv yoo, and you awe the cookie and I am eatin yoo" in which my heart instantly melted. IF you knew Hannah you would understand that one of her most favorite things right now are cookies! any type of cookie she simply loves! Love how children think in simple terms and that is how they show their love.

Sweet isnt it?

thankfulness....or lack thereof!

I have been really enjoying Ann Voskamps book called "One Thousand Gifts" an the concept of being thankful for even the smallest things is something I have been focusing on and practicing in my daily spiritual path. If one searches they will find snippets of blessings everyday. Yes! EVERYDAY there is soo much we can notice and observe if we take the time to do it.

This morning, my dear hubby was up pretty early (as he is every work day) and my first selfish instinct was to grumble! what was I grumbling about? Well I was annoyed that by him getting up to get dressed in his work coveralls, he tripped on a toy and that made a loud bang - which woke up the baby, who then started crying and fussing, which meant I had to open my eyes, get out of bed unwillingly and put the soother in her mouth, all the while giving my man the quick annoyed "What are you thinking waking ME up so early?!" look. I crawled back into bed, put the blanket over my head hoping to catch a few more minutes of precious sleep...without even kissing him goodbye.

As I lay in bed, I then realized how self-centred I had been and felt pretty bad about it. Was I thankful? really? NOPE. not a bit and my heart showed through my actions. Here is my man, waking up early out of his own deep sleep to go out to work long hours day in and day out to provide for his wife and dear children and taking his responsiblity with joy and an eager to work attitude, and all I could think about was how he disturbed me? How petty and foolish. This may seem insignificant to some but to me God was showing me the contents of my heart and my attitudes and it was convicting.

Now if I only I could replay that scenario it would be quite different. A thankful grateful wife would have been excited to get up early to spend time with the man who puts his own needs on the back burner to make sure his wife and children have all THEY need! If I was thankful, I could have even enjoyed a laugh or two with him about how we are blessed with many children who actually have toys to play with , to trip over even. It is a running joke between us that no matter how hard we try to keep the house in order, theres always toys and stuffed animals on the floor. I could have gone downstairs and enjoyed a few quiet minutes with him as he ate some breadkfast and maybe our morning devotions would have been sweeter. I could have been thankful to be up EARLY as the sun was rising to get a headstart on the day before the children woke up. unfortunatly thats not how it played out at all.

My ungrateful heart came through this morning. but the good news is that "Tomorrows another day" . I am thankful for second chances. I am beginning to learn it is the "little things" in life that do count. I am also thankful that after a prayer of repentence I knew I was forgiven and that God will give me another oppurtunity to be thankful.

He Lives!

God sent His son, they called Him Jesus
He came to love, heal, and forgive.
He lived and died to buy my pardon,
An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives.

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, All fear is gone.
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living just because He lives.

How sweet to hold a newborn baby,
And feel the pride and joy he gives.
But greater still the calm assurance,
This child can face uncertain days because He lives.

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, All fear is gone.
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living just because He lives.

And then one day I'll cross the river,
I'll fight life's final war with pain.
And then as death gives way to victory,
I'll see the lights of glory and I'll know He lives.

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, All fear is gone!
Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth the living just because He lives!

Words of Song by: Bill & Gloria Gaither

easter prep

We love celebrations here at the Nest! No doubt about it , we go all out. Decorations, special meals, and lasting memories. This year I started making Easter baskets for the children using a method my mom used when we were young. It took a few tries to make the syrup but I have made it a few times and have found just the right way. This is not a craft for the young as it can get extremely messy and sticky...! and make sure you have lots of newspaper around too.

Here is the Basic Recipe for it: so its 2 part Sugar (i used 1/2 white sugar, and 1/2 icing sugar) and 1 part Water! Put it together in a Pot and Boil ..and then continue to boil for 1 minute... leave on LOW for about 1-3 minutes till mixture is thick and syrupy and then COOL . Once cooled, dip a whole roll of yarn, cotton string or whatever you are using in the pot of cooled Sugar "glue" Mixture and tie one end of your thread to the Balloon KNOT to secure. Then proceed to wrap around balloon in varying patterns until all covered to preference and leace somewhere safe to dry.

Here they are Drying:

It will take 1-2 days to dry so be patient! When all dry you cut out an oval hole in the Front, hot glue lace and decorate...on easter morning, add Easter Grass inside and fill with easter treats and chocolates..thats it! Children will love to wake up Easter morning to see these lovely homemade Egg baskets on the table.

(will update with the FINAL finished basket once completed as I am working on them today!) As a child I remember mom kept these baskets stored downstairs in the craft room up on a high shelf and we managed to use them a few years in a row. I enjoy small simple ways of making a celebration that much more memorable and I cant wait to see our childrens faces when they see them!

Wordless Wednesday

nose in a book!

As a busy mother, its sometimes tricky to find time for one of my favorite pastimes: READING! the only thing I usually have time to read is a quick article here and there in my "ABOVE RUBIES" collection or sometimes a devotional a couple of times a week. This year I have the goal or reading more than that and this takes scheduling and commitment. Other than reading my Bible I have been able to actually "dig in" to a good book! Its quite amazing! My latest one happens to be very popular lately and what inspired me to pick it up was a You Tube Video!



I really enjoyed the video and that night dear hubby and I were shopping and he was sweet to buy me a hard copy of this particular book!

I am on the second chapter and so far i have had to put it down due to my eyes getting all blurry from the tears. IT is a FANTASTIC read and I recommend it has already my perspective on life is changing!!

Please dear wife, or mother if you get a chance to read it ...Do it! You will be forever changed....

In Him,

Nikiyah