I AM ABOVE SELF-PITY ....these are the words engraved in the bracelets I won at the Above Rubies ladies retreat and I find it both encouraging, challenging and convicting to allow these words to resonate in my spirit and sink into my heart. How many times in my life have I succumbed to poor-me attitutes and selfishness in order to feel right about something..
I had an interesting scenario play out this weekend while at a playdate for Lidiyah and her Friend. The mother and I got the chance to have a nice visit over some tea and she expressed her feelings of being overwhelmed and stressed constantly with her 3 children and wondered how i did it. As i took a deep breath and shared a bit of my humble story, her facial expressions changed and even her tone got softer . She told me she was angry with her husband for not helping more, angry at her children for always making messes and trying to keep up with everything and then she looked at me and how i balance everything and she got a glimmer of hope and realized half the problem was HOW she was looking at things..
Changing a perspective does wonders and I shared with her my struggle in this area as well but how often SELF PITY rears its ugly head my way and I can quickly recognize it and not even allow it to be entertained . Do you ever wish your hubby did help more with the housework or with your children? ...Well like Nancy Campbell said last week, why focus on that! why not challenge yourself to step it up a notch, have zero expectations and be totally grateful for when (and if!) he does help out. Hmm...that doesn't go with our rights though. Sometimes "Keeping Sweet" literally can change even the atmosphere!!
What about when we have a houseful of sick children and we are soo sick ourseleves. (Like jet puke and multiple trips to the bathroom sick! ) Do we start to feel sorry for ourselves and make everyone around us know how much we are suffering and whine and complain begging for help ASAP or do we shut our mouths, deal with the nasty circumstance the best we can and keep a thankful heart DESPITE how awful our situation is? I believe we can ! Banish those temporary feelings and choose not to wallow in our self pity and RISE UP to every occasion to show our inner strength and focus on the positives! that is my motto and its amazing how easy life can be...though the world around me could be raging, I am NOT!
After sharing this ...the mom sudddenly got excited and she asked me more detailed questions and she was totally inspired to start this new attitude with herself, her husband AND her children . TAking baby steps like an attitude change is often just enough to make CHANGE happen in our hearts and minds. And ITs WORTH it. For everyone. WHo likes to be around a nagging, grumpy self wallowing woman who is literally Tearing her house down with her own hands! .....
No ordinary work done by a man is either as hard or as responsible as the work of a woman who is bringing up a family of small children; for upon her time and strength demands are made not only every hour of the day but often every hour of the night. She may have to get up night after night to take care of a sick child, and yet must by day continue to do all her household duties well; and if the family means are scant she must usually enjoy even her rare holidays taking her whole brood of children with her. The birth pangs make all men the debtors of all women! Above all our sympathy and regard are due to the struggling wives among those whom Abraham Lincoln called the plain people, and whom he so loved and trusted; for the lives of these women are often led on the lonely heights of quiet, self-sacrificing heroism."~ Teddy Roosevelt, 1905