thankfulness....or lack thereof!

I have been really enjoying Ann Voskamps book called "One Thousand Gifts" an the concept of being thankful for even the smallest things is something I have been focusing on and practicing in my daily spiritual path. If one searches they will find snippets of blessings everyday. Yes! EVERYDAY there is soo much we can notice and observe if we take the time to do it.

This morning, my dear hubby was up pretty early (as he is every work day) and my first selfish instinct was to grumble! what was I grumbling about? Well I was annoyed that by him getting up to get dressed in his work coveralls, he tripped on a toy and that made a loud bang - which woke up the baby, who then started crying and fussing, which meant I had to open my eyes, get out of bed unwillingly and put the soother in her mouth, all the while giving my man the quick annoyed "What are you thinking waking ME up so early?!" look. I crawled back into bed, put the blanket over my head hoping to catch a few more minutes of precious sleep...without even kissing him goodbye.

As I lay in bed, I then realized how self-centred I had been and felt pretty bad about it. Was I thankful? really? NOPE. not a bit and my heart showed through my actions. Here is my man, waking up early out of his own deep sleep to go out to work long hours day in and day out to provide for his wife and dear children and taking his responsiblity with joy and an eager to work attitude, and all I could think about was how he disturbed me? How petty and foolish. This may seem insignificant to some but to me God was showing me the contents of my heart and my attitudes and it was convicting.

Now if I only I could replay that scenario it would be quite different. A thankful grateful wife would have been excited to get up early to spend time with the man who puts his own needs on the back burner to make sure his wife and children have all THEY need! If I was thankful, I could have even enjoyed a laugh or two with him about how we are blessed with many children who actually have toys to play with , to trip over even. It is a running joke between us that no matter how hard we try to keep the house in order, theres always toys and stuffed animals on the floor. I could have gone downstairs and enjoyed a few quiet minutes with him as he ate some breadkfast and maybe our morning devotions would have been sweeter. I could have been thankful to be up EARLY as the sun was rising to get a headstart on the day before the children woke up. unfortunatly thats not how it played out at all.

My ungrateful heart came through this morning. but the good news is that "Tomorrows another day" . I am thankful for second chances. I am beginning to learn it is the "little things" in life that do count. I am also thankful that after a prayer of repentence I knew I was forgiven and that God will give me another oppurtunity to be thankful.